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Discipline Series Part 1: Let's Talk About Sex Babyyyy

Lately I've been reflecting a lot on what it looks like to be truly disciplined and living for the Lord. There are a million and one books written on the subject of 'becoming a Godly woman' or 'becoming a Godly man', but what does it look like in real life? Living as a follower of Christ in a fallen world means that your life may look radical to some. And guess what? That is okay. As I go through these weeks studying discipline and what it looks like to be the truest woman of God I can be, I'm going to take you with me because I think discipline is something that everyone can benefit from.

As I began my study, I started at the root. What does discipline mean in a technical sense. There are quite a few definitions of the word, a lot of them having to do with rules, obedience, and punishment, but one of the definitions Merriam-Webster provided me with really resonated with me in terms of what discipline means in regards to following the Lord. It says discipline is "training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character." When we are talking about being a disciplined follower of Christ, we are not talking about simply following a set of rules God provided for us to get to Heaven or to avoid punishment. The debt has already been paid for us on the cross. We instead are talking about the practice of putting to death the life we had before we came to God and instead robing ourself with His holy armor. Renewing our minds with His Word. Putting to practice our spiritual discipline in every aspect of our lives. I want to go through some of the aspects of my own life where I feel like discipline has been tough and walk through what the world has normalized verses what God's intentions were/are for certain things. God has put it on my heart to really dig deep into this, so its going to take me a few posts to really be able to articulate what it is I want to say on each topic. I want to talk about sexual discipline, financial discipline, spiritual discipline, and emotional discipline. So bare with me lol. The way the world views these topics in relation to the Kingdom is almost always a direct opposition, especially in terms of sexual discipline which I am going to dive into today. While I am going to be using scripture to back my claims, take what I am going to say for what it is: a flawed human being trying to make meaning of the world around her in contrast with the life God intended for us to live. All I'm going to say is based upon my own experiences, values, and views on the world. Remember, while we may have differing views, my lens is not your lens and is shaped completely by my own reality, so have grace and patience as we navigate this together.

The verse that I keep coming back to when I think about discipline, especially in terms of sexual discipline is Colossians 3: 5-10. It says:

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator."

This is a passage which I am going to refer back to in all of my posts about discipline so get comfy with it lol. I love this translation because it uses the term "earthly nature". In order for someone to have an earthly nature, they must also have another nature to compare to. I would say that in this case, we are comparing our earthly nature to the heavenly nature God would like for us to put on. Because we are talking about sexual immorality in this post, I will keep it contained to that for now.

Sexual discipline is such a hard discipline to master especially in this day and age because we live in a world where hookups and divorce are more common than faithful covenant marriages with sex confined to married partners. Not only that, we are faced with the hyper sexualization of every form of media, porn, and hookup culture. It can feel almost impossible to not succumb to temptation.

When I think about the stigma purity culture has created around sex, it saddens my heart. It feels almost as if culture has taken God's context for sex inside of marriage and warped it into a narrative that makes it seem like waiting is a punishment. In reality, I believe that God asking us to wait to have sex until we are married is a form of protection over us. Protection over our hearts and physical bodies. Protection against unwanted pregnancies and STD's. Most of all, it is protection over our spirits. Waiting should not come from a place of fear or legalism. It should come from a place of submission. I love how the Bible compares our bodies to a temple where the spirit of God resides and we should glorify God with our bodies because our bodies are not our own (1 Corinthians 6: 19-20). By waiting until we are in covenant marriages to have sex we are saying, you know what God. I know that you designed me with so much intention and thought and love, and I am not going to just give myself to anyone. Because not everyone deserves to know me in that way. God created sex to be healing and unifying and HOLY. It's so important to me to wait for someone who I want to be unified with forever. It can sometimes in this culture seem like God asking us to wait for marriage is Him keeping us from having fun and experiencing pleasure in that way. The reality is, God created sex as an act of worship. He wants you to experience it in the context of marriage because that is the safest place for it to occur. With someone who has grown to know your mind and spirit and heart deeply before they ever gained access to your body.

When you are looking at sex as just an act for pleasure and temporary release, it can be hard to understand why there would be any benefits to waiting. However, God did not create sex to be self-serving. In a society that is dominated by hookup culture, porn, masturbation, and promiscuity, it can be hard to see God's true design. It is about unifying two people together and creating a bond that extends far beyond any other relational bond in your life. I love how in Matthew it says, "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning, the Creator 'made them male and female' and said 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?" (Matthew 19:4-6) I don't know about you, but I don't want to become one with just anyone. I want someone who I know is dedicated to not only me, but the Lord. I want a man that has proven that by not only purposefully pursuing me, but purposefully pursuing the Lord and leading me in a way that reflects that. I want someone who will stand before God with me and make a covenant to love and honor me for the rest of our lives. By practicing sexual discipline, you are not only guarding your own heart and mind, you are honoring God. You are saying to God that you acknowledge that your body was bought with a cost and that you recognize that you are not your own. When we are made new in Christ, we are surrendering ourselves to Him. That includes all aspects of our lives, including our sexual nature. I feel like this conversation was so necessary so we don't continue thinking that by asking us to wait, He is withholding something good from us for His own entertainment or because He likes to watch us suffer. He is sovereign, so it wouldn't even be in His nature to do something like that. By asking us to wait, He is once again looking out for us and offering us a form of protection over things that would probably just end up hurting us. It may be hard, but I believe that in the end, waiting will be well worth it.

I love you.


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